Finding Real Satisfaction

by guest blogger Hugh Houston

I meant my marriage vows I made the day my wife and I were married. But somewhere along the way I fell into lust and porn.

I think most of us know what God said in the beginning:  “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh”  (Genesis 2:22-24).

 Marriage means one man and one woman together for as long as they both shall live.  The marriage vows we commonly hear say, “I take thee, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance.”

 I knew when I got married that I was pledging to be faithful to my wife.  To love only her. To never betray her. To be her one and only and have her as my one and only. 

But then lust and porn began to consume me. But unlike my relationship with my wife, those habits never met my needs.  Desires were never satisfied.  Lust always wanted more.  The person who is addicted to pornography can spend hours looking at image after image, because none of those images will ever be enough.  There is always a longing to see just one more. 

My wife could not understand how I could proclaim that my looking at porn was really not about her.  She was correct in that by looking at porn I was betraying her and going against our wedding vows.  But none of the women I saw were good enough.  It’s not that my wife is not attractive or desirable. It’s that lust is an animal that is always hungry and always wants just a little bit more.

I have written a book about my experience. In it I use the example of the person who is thirsty and in an effort to quench their thirst, they drink seawater. They can drink gallon after gallon and their thirst will only increase.  That’s how it is with porn and lust. Looking at porn does not satisfy our desires; rather it heightens and increases them.

Only true, genuine love in a committed marriage relationship can satisfy and bring real joy. I’ve discovered that now.  My wife and I have been married for over 40 years.  Her skin may not be as smooth as it was on our wedding day, but she is more beautiful than ever in my eyes.  I have traded the many for one. 

No pornographic image can ever be enough for the person who is seeking a high.  But one partner is plenty for the spouse who has learned what our Creator intended from the beginning. When Adam looked at Eve, he saw his dream come true.  She was a gift from the Father.  She was, as the Lord stated,  “A helper suitable for him.”

 I deeply regret the time I wasted seeking fulfillment and excitement in all the wrong places.  How mistaken I was!  Pornography could never fill the hole in my soul. Not in a million years! Only the Lord can meet my deepest longings. And He is the one who placed a human being in my life to be my very best friend and companion.  The one I love and cherish.  The one who, with His help, will remain by my side until death do us part.

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My book, JESUS IS BETTER THAN PORN: How I Confessed my Addiction to My Wife and Found a New Life, is available at Amazon

Truth Matters Too

“The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!”  (John 1:29  ESV)

Image result for image jesus is the way, the truth, the lifeThese days, if you watch the news and read about many main line churches, or what’s going on in many college campuses, the great passion of today is not what John, the Baptist, is saying here.

There is an overwhelming pressure for social justice, diversity, full acceptance of many minority identity groups, and the idea that “you are not a Christian church or a good person if you don’t love, promote, celebrate, and endorse just about every lifestyle and identity plea that is thrown at you.” Inclusion! Inclusion! Inclusion!

The Apostle Paul emphatically states in 1 Corinthians 14:1 to “pursue love” (ESV). Another version says, “Make love thy great quest.” The KJV renders it, “Follow after charity.” Paul, earlier in 1 Corinthians 13:3 says, “. . . but have not love, I gain nothing” (ESV).

God is love and God is for love. We dare not forget that!

But He is also the God of eternal, unchanging, inerrant truth. I believe John the Baptist knew about this never-to-be-separated duo of love and truth.

Image result for image proverbs 3:3Proverbs 3:3 states this essential connection: “Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the tablet of thine heart”  (KJV  Bold added).

These two, mercy and truth, are never to be found separate. Yes, Jesus was, is, and always will be about love. But as John declared here, may we never forget the eternally important truth that Jesus came to save sinners from being damned and lost forever!

I guess in these days of the watered down or forgotten Gospel, I’d like to see us all return to a more healthy balance of mercy and truth.  Concepts like conviction, repentance from sin, and a holy reverence for the Word of God are desperately needed in our churches, our campuses, and our culture. Please join me in praying for this if you are led.


Many thanks to Jim Grunseth for contributing this guest post. Jim and his wife, Barbara, are the authors of numerous materials on marriage, marriage preparation, family, dealing with past emotional wounds, and discipleship. People from over 93 countries have visited their website, www.marriageanchors.com . Couples and churches from over 50 nations have downloaded their free ebooks. They have sent free of charge their materials to 186 local pastors, missionaries, seminaries students, and orphanages their materials to strengthen families, build up local churches, and advance the Gospel. They have 7 children and 11 grandchildren and live in Elkhorn, Wisconsin.

Jim has been on staff with Campus Crusade for 37 years. He is a graduate of The United States Military Academy at West Point and also has a Masters in Counseling – Psychology from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.

Barbara is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee and taught 13 years at Faith Christian School in Williams Bay. She has been on full time staff with Campus Crusade for 18 years.